When someone you love passes away, writing a eulogy can feel impossible.
Where do you begin? What should you say? And how can a few words ever do justice to an entire life?
At Willow, we help families express their love and memories in meaningful ways. Here’s a compassionate, step-by-step guide to help you write a eulogy — even in the midst of grief.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a short speech (usually 5–10 minutes) given at a funeral or memorial ceremony. It’s your chance to share who this person was — what made them unique, how they touched your life, and what you want others to remember.
You don’t have to be a great writer. You just need to be honest and speak from the heart.
🪞 Step 1: Reflect on What You Want to Say
Before worrying about structure or language, ask yourself:
- What do I want to say to them?
- What do I wish others knew about them?
- What moments do I keep returning to?
Write for them, not for an audience. You are honoring their life — not performing.
💡 Tip: Focus on expressing love, not impressing others.
✍️ Step 2: Choose a Simple Structure
Here are 3 easy structures you can follow:
➤ 1. The Letter Format
Write your eulogy like a letter to the person you lost.
Example opening:
“Dear Papoune,
Since you so often gave speeches — funny, sincere, and touching — I thought today was my turn…”
This format is warm, direct, and personal. It gives you permission to speak from your heart.
➤ 2. The Thematic Tribute
Choose 2–3 qualities (e.g., “kindness,” “curiosity,” “resilience”) and tell stories that show them in action.
Example:
“She wasn’t just kind — she was relentlessly kind. Like the time she bought sandwiches for every student in her class before a big exam…”
➤ 3. The ABC Tribute
This creative option assigns a memory or trait to each letter of the alphabet. It works well if you’re honoring someone with a rich personality or great sense of humor.
Example:
A for André, of course. B for Bricoleur — always fixing things. C for Curiosity, which led him to almost move the family to China in 1966…”
👉 Read a full ABC-style example here
💡 5 Writing Tips That Actually Help
- Address your loved one directly
Speak to them. Use “you.” It will feel more natural and more real. - Be specific
“She was a wonderful mother” is nice. But “She made us pancakes every Sunday and sang badly to ABBA” is unforgettable. - Include a story
Stories stick. Choose 1–2 moments that show who they were. - Say what matters most
Don’t aim for perfection. Focus on what you’d regret not saying. - End with love
A simple goodbye, a thank you, a quote — whatever feels right. “I hope one day I’ll be a grandfather too — and if I can be even half the man you were, I’ll be proud.”
Remember: There’s No Right Way to Grieve — or to Write
Grief is messy. So is love. Don’t worry if your voice cracks, or if your words aren’t polished.
What matters is that you showed up. That you spoke from the heart. That you honored their life with yours.
💬 Looking for Inspiration?
👉 Read real eulogy examples from families
Including letter-style tributes, poetic farewells, and alphabet-format speeches.
Or, if you want to invite others to help you gather memories, stories, and photos before the ceremony, try Willow’s collaborative tribute tool.
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